Weekend thoughts

Some beautiful things from the weekend:

• The horses got out on Saturday night; they were like giant furry shadows clopping around in the moonlight. We stood out for almost an hour trying to wrangle them in our pjs and my skinny white ankles got pretty frozen. My favorite thing was watching the rancher, Dax, run after the horses when he was helping us get them corralled. People who are competent at their jobs are pretty cool, people who sacrifice sleep to help some city folks in 7 degree weather at 12:30 AM are pretty cool. (Turns out they weren’t even his horses. His live in the field next door, not the pasture out back, but he was the only one we knew to call. Dax is a good man.)

• I met a few girls at church that were really nice. Destiny sat in front of me in sacrament and ended up saying hi. Our conversation was just awkward enough that I think we could probably be friends, she was really sweet. I also met Jessica who told me that “I think you’re just really going to elevate our ward.” This is the second time she’s told me that, which is really kind of her. She invited me to lunch. I also met Meghan who has the prettiest red hair and green eyes. She was super fun and easy to talk to, she invited me to FHE. It’s cool to be on the receiving end of the work I’ve been doing the last 3 years of talking to new people at church.

• I’ve been watching walking videos on Youtube and I watched one walking around a park in Seoul from back in August and it was so lovely to see a warm summer sunset in the middle of the winter.

• I watched Howl’s Moving Castle with my friends over Discord. Studio Ghibli always knows what’s up.

• I got some new clothes and have been liking my outfits so much more lately.

• BTS covered Coldplay’s Fix You. That wasn’t strictly over the weekend but I’ve watched it 6 times including twice on Saturday soooooo.

Lonely girls

I saw a post the other day about the beauty of women who own up to their loneliness and move through life anyway. I'm lonely. I don't know how we can be so lonely while surrounded by people, but we are and I am. I don't know if it really is a beautiful thing to be lonely, but I do think that there is always beauty to be found in people who are striving. We strive to be kind, to be soft, to work hard for ourselves, to fill our soul-voids in healthy ways even though there are so many detrimental traps to fall into right there as soon as loneliness strikes. That's why I'm writing a blog tonight instead of crying into a bag of chips and reading empty romance novels. It's why I'm trying to be creative instead of destructive. Loneliness leads to self-destruction because we wonder why we're not good enough to be loved like everyone else seems to be, so we harm ourselves. It's hard to learn that you have to work away loneliness, realizing that adds another level of it. No one here to take care of me but me. I think that's where the beauty comes from though because there you are, no one to take care of you but you, and you've chosen to do it. You build up instead of dig down and that takes strength. Strength is the source of many of life's most profound beauties.

5/27/16

     Sunday's make my heart so full. Church today was good, I taught a lesson and it went thankfully pretty well. The best thing about church in my current branch is Relief Society. I think this branch is blessed because it's such a small group it means that we can be easily unified, and we are more and more. We've been talking lately about ministering and how does the Savior minister to us. The Savior knows us each individually, he knows our exact needs and because of this he can give us strength or comfort or laughter or love, whatever the very thing us that will help us most.
     During our lesson today I kept thinking the words "Ministering is a mindset". If we are looking out for others and practicing filling needs as we see them, if we set our minds to ministering, our opportunities to do so will grow and the Lord can better use us to bless his children.
     I taught Gospel Doctrine for the first time today and I was kind of nervous so I sent a snap to my family group chat just saying "oh, pray for me guys" and I forgot about it. The lesson went fine, and I came home. Just a bit ago though I look at my phone, and this is my best thing for the day, and see that Camille sent me a Snapchat, so I open it up and it's a video of all my little girl cousins popping out from behind a couch and yelling "You can do it, Leslie!" I LOVE those girls. It's like an army of small women that just decided I'm great for whatever reason and they joke with me and support me and cheer for me and tease me and I just couldn't have gotten a better batch of cousins. Anyway. It's been a good day so far. Support and love as much as you can. Bless up.

-Leslie

5/30/2018

Right now I am sad. It's been a pretty good day, but long, and I think we need some gratitude.

1. I had my room to myself the whole week and
2. It's clean for once.
3. I hung some of my paintings and I even gave a little love to one that I did myself that I keep but I'm never sure if I like it or not.
4. I did a craft! It didn't turn out exactly how I wanted but it's pretty good and I like it.
5. The boys were out of the house for most of the day and I got some peace and quiet. I love them but they constantly demand attention.
6. Changed my bedsheets.
7. Planty my potted plant is thriving.
8. Caleb and Miriam are coming home!!
9. Got to see a little vid of my high school friends who I love but I never see anymore. (Lovely but also the cause of the sadness.)
10. I watched some cooking videos today which is one of my favorite things.

I think gratitude is a good cure for these things. Sometimes seeing my high school friends out doing things together dregs up some of my old feelings of self consciousness and inadequacy, and somehow at the same time I just plain miss them. Someday I'll be able to let go but for now I'll try to not be sad and look forward not back.

-Leslie

5/26/18

     I'm not sure how i want to do this so lets just jump right into it shall we?

     The most beautiful thing I saw today was a video of a son coming home from australia to surprise his mum on her birthday.
     The most beautiful thing I smelled today was while I was on a walk and yah know that summer evening smell when the world is cooling down and everything smells amazing? That combined with the smell of someone's laundry detergent wafting from their house that was the same detergent of a friends I really love and miss.
     The most beautiful thing I heard today was silence, a blessing.
     The best thing I tasted today was a salad I had for dinner.
     The most lovely thing I touched today was the cat. It's usually the cat.

-Leslie

Post the first

Hi!
     I never like making my first post on any website, so here's this one to get it out of the way.
     Welcome to my blog. The idea here is that I will be posting every day or every few days things that I find beautiful or otherwise appealing as a way to remind myself and share with others that there is beauty and new things to enjoy everyday. Amongst the mundane, we can find things to celebrate if we only look for them. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I'm excited to share my perspective!

-Leslie